My words from Evelina Smith's Memorial Service.

Played: 27 | Download | Duration: 00:03:46

When I was younger I had a lot of really bad things happen in my life. I got in with the wrong crowd and allowed them to convince me that I was a terrible guitar player. I was already hurting from my mom's death - I blamed myself for her dying - so I probably was just wasting my time with the Gibson. As as a result, I quit playing my guitar.

Recently, I started playing in a bell choir and LOVE it. The bells seem to just reflect love and kindness. As a result I have started playing my guitar again. Why in the world did I ever allow anyone to convince me that I was wasting my time with my music? This world is so full of pain and even if I was the world's worse player it gave me some sense of joy. Why not play? Why not enjoy that bit of happiness the guitar gave me?

I just realized that I have not posted anything in 119 days. It has been a long fall and I have been tired most of the time. I do miss posting things. There just doesn't seem to be much time in the day to get everything done.

I have continued my journalling and have worked through a lot of painful events in my life. I have also come to realize that things that were important to me as a young adult were important. I had attempted to be someone I truly was not. I have started my music again with both the guitar and the handbells and LOVE it.

So this was time that was not lost. I will attempt to post more often.

It is amazing how quickly an asthma attack will come on. Willow had a bad attack last evening. I was really worried.

I must remember to pray and to let the medication work. She was chasing a fly a half hour after I administered the meds.

We had to go back to the nebulizer. Willow started having asthma attacks again.

I have been using the aerokat for the last couple of days. It seems like a good way to go. Willow is still stressing with her treatments. I mix a lot of hugs, pets and kisses in with the treatments. Hopefully, she will setting down into the routine soon.



This is Willow in a fresh laundered blanket. She is such a doll.

Willow spent a very sleepful night - no hard breathing or coughing. It is amazing how quickly she bounced back.

I need to get a routine down for the treatments. Today it was:

• find the cat
• tear the queen sized bed down
• get the cat
• give her part 1 of the treatments
• put her in the bathroom
• put the bed back together
• give her part 2 of the treatments

I think once i have the aerokat it is going to be much easier. Delivery date is tomorrow!

I had been a frequent flyer at my vet's office because my cat seemed to be catching any virus. It wasn't until a year ago, she was diagnosed as having asthma. This is one terrible disease. Today she ended up in a severe attack.

She is sleeping peacefully and doesn't seem too upset about it.

I have been watching the whole health care debate with dismay. I do not understand why anyone would want to deny someone else basic health care.

The argument has been made to me that those without health care can use the emergency room. In my past life I have done that. The problem with that logic is:

1. the emergency room should not be your primary health care facility
2. the emergency room is for life-threatening situations

Health care should include on-going care to make the person's life a bit more easy. For example, hypertension can be controlled with regular visits to a doctor. By the time that one gets to the point where they need to be in the ER the damage has already been done.

I think the government is being a bit optimistic about an upswing in the economy.

Yesterday, I rec'd in the mail a notice that one of my investments is going to have a blackout on all account activity. This doesn't sound good for anyone who invested anything with them. I am lucky. I had used the money to live on while I was unemployed during 2006-2007. I had about $4,000.00 left. When the economy tanked it went down to about a $1,000.00. Yes, I hated to lose what was left but I could have lost the full amount.